From: Senior Intelligence Officer Noc-a Don [Codename: Tak-Maga]
To: Commanding Officer Maḱ-Seyḱm [Codename: Scott-MacLeod]
Subject: Initiating First Contact with the Inhabitants of America
243 . 5243 . 870
It is impossible to decide the future of the human race without first examining its past and present. To accomplish this, our team has surveyed these advanced primates for several lunar rotations at the behest of the glorious Neb-Nebian Council. From this, the simple components of their ethics, values, and characteristics were laid bare for us to examine. The prime specimen in our appraisal was a document written in what is currently the the dominant nation on the planet. The so named ¨United States of America¨ has, since its inception, eagerly exported its ideals of freedom. These morals have been outlined for our perusal in its ¨Declaration of Independence.¨ This document marked the official break of the United States from their mother country: Great Britain. While a fraction of the values described in the document imitate the ones that we hold dear, the actual embodiment of the flawed declaration renders the human race a menace to the celebrated Neb-Nebian Council and the galaxy at large.
The Declaration of Independence is a document that attempts to provide a justification for the violent revolt that was instigated by the rebellious subjects. It contains not only specific grievances against the mother country, but also an evaluation of the natural rights of their race. Reappropriating the ideas of our envoy Nel-Yom (codename: John-Locke), the Americans twisted his thoughts to their philosophies. An oft-repeated phrase in the country stemming from this work is that “all men are created equal… endowed… with inherent and inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness…” This simple statement is deceptive; while appearing to reconcile with our morals, the meaning behind the ink adopts a darker tone. At the same time that the founding fathers of the country penned the words that “all men are created equal,” many of them were engaged in the enslavement of their compatriots. This was no isolated happenstance; rather, this was the wholesale exploitation of fellow humans who were seen as biologically inferior. The acceptance of this slavery in the defining charter of the nation is only underlined by the removal of any passing reference to what they considered to be their property. The passage which spoke out against these practices, calling it a “cruel war against human nature itself,” was edited out by the humans. The obscured attempt by the main author of the declaration to ensure the equality of all humans was batted aside with the iron fist of tyranny. Such actions recall the Age of Baxwajhism, and the slavery that crushed independent thought. The nation that cannot unite around the rights of its citizens is not a worthy one.
This is not the only transgression within the document itself that needs to be taken into account. We have also called the methods that the revolutionaries have used to effect their revolution into question. Whereas the dictatorship of Grenkek Baxwajh was deposed by your bloodless emancipation, the leaders of the American revolution instigated a rebellion that lead to the untimely endings of many of their compatriots. While the routes available to the American principles are still debated among themselves, the illustrious Neb-Nebian Council cannot help but see the lack of regard that the humans have shown with other’s lives. Compared to our premium on our souls, the humans have put theirs on sale. These are not the only points of contention between the eminent council and the humans. The value of factual information and objective thinking has long been enshrined in our culture. It only stands to reason that we should expect the same from any sensible sentient race. In this aspect too, we are disappointed. The main body of the text consists of grievances against the British crown, in order to justify the ramifications of their actions. While this rationale should be commended, the execution of their thoughts leaves much to be desired. The length of the list of grievances should do little to impress the distinguished councillors, upon observing the actual substance of the complaints. Riddled with logical fallacies, half-truths, and one-sided thinking, it surprises us that such a document was approved by the humans, and even more so that it had the capability to change the minds of some readers. This perhaps, exposes the nature of the race more so than our textual analysis. Take, for instance, their rationalization that the king has “taxed us without our consent.” While there may be an argument to be made regarding the actual representation of the colonies, there is no ground regarding the taxes themselves. The tithes that the colonies were paying were among the lowest on the globe. The minute income that resulted from these taxes are no reason for the horrible bloodshed that ensured. The document attempts to further press these categorically false arguments. It states that the king “has kept among us in times of peace standing armies and ships of war without the consent of our legislatures.” This point is moot. The United Kingdom was a sovereign power, and as multiple foreign threats to their colonies will testify to, was completely justified in their stationing of troops.
While it is now evident that the Declaration of Independence represents a culture hostile to the Pax Voldarium pursued by the esteemed council, to grasp the full weight of the threat posed by the humans, our team also investigated the US exportation of its rebellious ideas. The venerable councillors would hope to observe support for freedom of thought and other democratic ideals, but such was not to be found. Instead, our scanners have observed the result of self-serving interventions that have produced nations wracked with strife. During what is referred to the Cold War, two superpowers on the Earth (one being the United States), each engaged in proxy wars to safeguard their world standing. These actions created shatterbelts of ruined peoples; pushed to the brink by the greed of the two rivals. The United States, purporting to stand for freedom, tightened their grasp on their iron rule. In the South American country of Chile, the democratically elected government was overthrown in a US backed coup. The resulting leader (Pinochet) was favorable to the Americans, but not as much to his own humans. In the decades that followed, thousands died and more suffered incalculable loss. The people of the nation had to rise up in a political version of the American revolution. This illustrates how the US has wielded its power not unlike the UK from which it despised. This can be further confirmed in a plethora of cases, such as the Iranian revolution. The Shah, or leader of Iran, was supported by the US through a coup. After suffering years of oppressive dictatorship, the people rose up to install a theocracy. This serves to further the point that the humans cannot function in a peaceful manner. Rising up to overthrow a government that they see as unjust, the humans have then proceeded to take the same actions which they so ardently fought against.
From all of this, the only possible conclusion that the most august council can drawn is that this seed of evil should not be allowed to germinate. The morals put forth in their founding charter are irreconcilable with our own, and would be so to any decent civilization. The blatant fabrications that they accept only point them to hippocratic tyranny. To save ourselves, and any hope of peace, the only reasonable course of action would be to eliminate the problem. The unanimous recommendation of this intelligence unit is the complete and immediate termination of planet Earth. Only this can ensure the safety and prosperity of all worthy civilizations in this universe.
Neb-Neb Forever, Senior Intelligence Officer
Noc-a-Don Earth Bureau 7th Division
The Incomplete History and Culture of Voldar:
Concisely Summarized
Prepared by the Intelligence Council at the behest of the illustrious History and Culture Branch of the Neb-Nebian Council.
Synthesized By:
Nen-Oktune [Eliam-Weinstock]
Omni-Octune [Matthew-Jones]
Wat-Neb [Jackson-Hilton]
Vi-a-Don [Nihal-Nazeem]
Noc-a-Don [Tak-Maga]
Format:
From: Senior Intelligence Officer Nen-Oktue [Codename: Eliam-C-Weinstock]
To: Commanding Officer Maḱ-Seyḱm [Codename: Scott-Macleod]
Subject: Initiating First Contact with the Inhabitants of America
243 . 5243 . 870
Signature:
Neb-Neb Forever, Senior Intelligence Officer
[Voldorian name] Earth Bureau 6th/7th Division
Time Conversions
1 Planetary Shift= 10 Earth Days
1 Lunar Rotation= 5 Planetary Shifts (50 days)
1 Solar Cycle= 100 Lunar Rotations (5,000 days)
1 Galactic Sequence= 50 Solar Cycles (250,000 days)
Dates:
[Planetary Shift (000-300)] . [Solar Cycle (0000-6000)] . [Galactic Sequence (000-999)]
243.5243.870
Baxwajh Regime:
To: Commanding Officer Maḱ-Seyḱm [Codename: Scott-MacLeod]
Subject: Initiating First Contact with the Inhabitants of America
243 . 5243 . 870
It is impossible to decide the future of the human race without first examining its past and present. To accomplish this, our team has surveyed these advanced primates for several lunar rotations at the behest of the glorious Neb-Nebian Council. From this, the simple components of their ethics, values, and characteristics were laid bare for us to examine. The prime specimen in our appraisal was a document written in what is currently the the dominant nation on the planet. The so named ¨United States of America¨ has, since its inception, eagerly exported its ideals of freedom. These morals have been outlined for our perusal in its ¨Declaration of Independence.¨ This document marked the official break of the United States from their mother country: Great Britain. While a fraction of the values described in the document imitate the ones that we hold dear, the actual embodiment of the flawed declaration renders the human race a menace to the celebrated Neb-Nebian Council and the galaxy at large.
The Declaration of Independence is a document that attempts to provide a justification for the violent revolt that was instigated by the rebellious subjects. It contains not only specific grievances against the mother country, but also an evaluation of the natural rights of their race. Reappropriating the ideas of our envoy Nel-Yom (codename: John-Locke), the Americans twisted his thoughts to their philosophies. An oft-repeated phrase in the country stemming from this work is that “all men are created equal… endowed… with inherent and inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness…” This simple statement is deceptive; while appearing to reconcile with our morals, the meaning behind the ink adopts a darker tone. At the same time that the founding fathers of the country penned the words that “all men are created equal,” many of them were engaged in the enslavement of their compatriots. This was no isolated happenstance; rather, this was the wholesale exploitation of fellow humans who were seen as biologically inferior. The acceptance of this slavery in the defining charter of the nation is only underlined by the removal of any passing reference to what they considered to be their property. The passage which spoke out against these practices, calling it a “cruel war against human nature itself,” was edited out by the humans. The obscured attempt by the main author of the declaration to ensure the equality of all humans was batted aside with the iron fist of tyranny. Such actions recall the Age of Baxwajhism, and the slavery that crushed independent thought. The nation that cannot unite around the rights of its citizens is not a worthy one.
This is not the only transgression within the document itself that needs to be taken into account. We have also called the methods that the revolutionaries have used to effect their revolution into question. Whereas the dictatorship of Grenkek Baxwajh was deposed by your bloodless emancipation, the leaders of the American revolution instigated a rebellion that lead to the untimely endings of many of their compatriots. While the routes available to the American principles are still debated among themselves, the illustrious Neb-Nebian Council cannot help but see the lack of regard that the humans have shown with other’s lives. Compared to our premium on our souls, the humans have put theirs on sale. These are not the only points of contention between the eminent council and the humans. The value of factual information and objective thinking has long been enshrined in our culture. It only stands to reason that we should expect the same from any sensible sentient race. In this aspect too, we are disappointed. The main body of the text consists of grievances against the British crown, in order to justify the ramifications of their actions. While this rationale should be commended, the execution of their thoughts leaves much to be desired. The length of the list of grievances should do little to impress the distinguished councillors, upon observing the actual substance of the complaints. Riddled with logical fallacies, half-truths, and one-sided thinking, it surprises us that such a document was approved by the humans, and even more so that it had the capability to change the minds of some readers. This perhaps, exposes the nature of the race more so than our textual analysis. Take, for instance, their rationalization that the king has “taxed us without our consent.” While there may be an argument to be made regarding the actual representation of the colonies, there is no ground regarding the taxes themselves. The tithes that the colonies were paying were among the lowest on the globe. The minute income that resulted from these taxes are no reason for the horrible bloodshed that ensured. The document attempts to further press these categorically false arguments. It states that the king “has kept among us in times of peace standing armies and ships of war without the consent of our legislatures.” This point is moot. The United Kingdom was a sovereign power, and as multiple foreign threats to their colonies will testify to, was completely justified in their stationing of troops.
While it is now evident that the Declaration of Independence represents a culture hostile to the Pax Voldarium pursued by the esteemed council, to grasp the full weight of the threat posed by the humans, our team also investigated the US exportation of its rebellious ideas. The venerable councillors would hope to observe support for freedom of thought and other democratic ideals, but such was not to be found. Instead, our scanners have observed the result of self-serving interventions that have produced nations wracked with strife. During what is referred to the Cold War, two superpowers on the Earth (one being the United States), each engaged in proxy wars to safeguard their world standing. These actions created shatterbelts of ruined peoples; pushed to the brink by the greed of the two rivals. The United States, purporting to stand for freedom, tightened their grasp on their iron rule. In the South American country of Chile, the democratically elected government was overthrown in a US backed coup. The resulting leader (Pinochet) was favorable to the Americans, but not as much to his own humans. In the decades that followed, thousands died and more suffered incalculable loss. The people of the nation had to rise up in a political version of the American revolution. This illustrates how the US has wielded its power not unlike the UK from which it despised. This can be further confirmed in a plethora of cases, such as the Iranian revolution. The Shah, or leader of Iran, was supported by the US through a coup. After suffering years of oppressive dictatorship, the people rose up to install a theocracy. This serves to further the point that the humans cannot function in a peaceful manner. Rising up to overthrow a government that they see as unjust, the humans have then proceeded to take the same actions which they so ardently fought against.
From all of this, the only possible conclusion that the most august council can drawn is that this seed of evil should not be allowed to germinate. The morals put forth in their founding charter are irreconcilable with our own, and would be so to any decent civilization. The blatant fabrications that they accept only point them to hippocratic tyranny. To save ourselves, and any hope of peace, the only reasonable course of action would be to eliminate the problem. The unanimous recommendation of this intelligence unit is the complete and immediate termination of planet Earth. Only this can ensure the safety and prosperity of all worthy civilizations in this universe.
Neb-Neb Forever, Senior Intelligence Officer
Noc-a-Don Earth Bureau 7th Division
The Incomplete History and Culture of Voldar:
Concisely Summarized
Prepared by the Intelligence Council at the behest of the illustrious History and Culture Branch of the Neb-Nebian Council.
Synthesized By:
Nen-Oktune [Eliam-Weinstock]
Omni-Octune [Matthew-Jones]
Wat-Neb [Jackson-Hilton]
Vi-a-Don [Nihal-Nazeem]
Noc-a-Don [Tak-Maga]
Format:
From: Senior Intelligence Officer Nen-Oktue [Codename: Eliam-C-Weinstock]
To: Commanding Officer Maḱ-Seyḱm [Codename: Scott-Macleod]
Subject: Initiating First Contact with the Inhabitants of America
243 . 5243 . 870
Signature:
Neb-Neb Forever, Senior Intelligence Officer
[Voldorian name] Earth Bureau 6th/7th Division
Time Conversions
1 Planetary Shift= 10 Earth Days
1 Lunar Rotation= 5 Planetary Shifts (50 days)
1 Solar Cycle= 100 Lunar Rotations (5,000 days)
1 Galactic Sequence= 50 Solar Cycles (250,000 days)
Dates:
[Planetary Shift (000-300)] . [Solar Cycle (0000-6000)] . [Galactic Sequence (000-999)]
243.5243.870
Baxwajh Regime:
- Dictatorship from 3548 . 534 - 3924 . 536
- Formed after a successful coup by Grenkek Baxwajh
- Opposition thrown into space
- Opposition thrown into space
- Start of the “Age of Baxwajhism”
- Created a large network of slave trade markets
- Oppressed free speech and press
- Unlawfully imprisoned Voldarians who spoke against his regime
- Created a large network of slave trade markets
- Ended after “peaceful revolution/seige” in today's Neb-Nebian Councilroom
- they literally just blocked all entrances of the Councilroom
- sentenced Baxwajh to death by space for crimes against the state
- Justified because eliminated future attempt of coup
- they literally just blocked all entrances of the Councilroom
- Democratic Oligarchy
- Council of 7 elected every Solar Cycle
- Neb-Nebian Council
- Neb-Nebian Council
- Universal suffrage
- Same people get elected every time → political stability
- Egalitarian society, people elected for being the best at their job
- Egalitarian society, people elected for being the best at their job
- Council of 7 elected every Solar Cycle
- Religious ruling
- Nebism
- Political religion
- splinter religion,
- many interchangeable factions that work in unity.
- Very loose rules concerning devotion and piety
- many interchangeable factions that work in unity.
- Political religion
- More of a set of moral codes than any organized groups
- Actual religion aspect only survives in tradition
- Such as names, governmental departments (Neb-Nebian Council)
- Such as names, governmental departments (Neb-Nebian Council)
- Actual religion aspect only survives in tradition
- Nebism
- Foreign relations
- Earth
- Nel-Yom [Codename: John-Locke]
- Council envoy sent to Earth to influence the Earthling’s morals
- Died of Earthborn illness
- Council envoy sent to Earth to influence the Earthling’s morals
- Ideas influenced human culture in unforeseen ways
- Nel-Yom [Codename: John-Locke]
- Other powers
- Most other major races culturally assimilated
- Few fringe nations, mostly peaceful
- The of War of Ner-Nevi
- Border incursion by the Vulcans
- Destroyed several civilian ships
- Attempt to silence traitor fleeing territory to give strategic information to the Voldarians
- Attempt to silence traitor fleeing territory to give strategic information to the Voldarians
- Vulcan ships destroyed by Voldar trying to retreat
- Minor war continues until Vulcans fall from internal pressure for peace.
See Language Document for standard usage
- Border incursion by the Vulcans
- The of War of Ner-Nevi
- Most other major races culturally assimilated
- Earth